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Positive Mentality for Building a Mediation Business

Positive Mentality for Building a Mediation Business

Is having a positive mentality crucial in building a successful mediation business?



Full Transcript

Absolutely. I think the running analogy is really, really helpful. I’ve only done one, half marathon. That was enough for me, but when I started to train I couldn’t run 300 meters without stopping. I was just hacking away and I think the way you can see your capacity, when you’re training to run, certainly those early stages is amazing.


When you do your first mile and your first three mile run. You’re only a few weeks into your program. To see the distance that you’ve traveled on how far you’ve progressed is really exciting.


This is what we are capable of doing within our business development, as well. There’s something really important as well about training and it’s the fact that we have to do it. We have to go through that stretch, period. You can’t go to your wife and say, “It’s alright, honey. I think you called her ‘Honey’ earlier so I feel like I can call your wife Honey now.


“It’s alright, Honey. I’m going [inaudible 00:36:39] be earning half a million doing this.” It’s not going to work. You have to indulge in that effort, the grind and the stretch, to build up, to do it a certain way.


Where you’ll will have had it and this is what I’m going to do, once I’ve done that. This is going to be my next stretch stage. You have that plan and you’re strategic, you’re reflective, did I do it? What worked well about it? What didn’t work so well? What might I do differently next time? I’ll get some different trainers. Whatever it might be.


Within the training, there is so much learning that goes on. And we still get the uncertainty and uncertainty is an absolute killer. So long as I’m being effective, so far as being effective, so far as executing our plans, I don’t know if it will work.


I think this is why it’s really helpful not to hang out with those people who are having to struggle to get those one or two mediations. But to you know, to hang out with those people who are doing loads.


And just being with them, just changes that group thing. We are now mixing people who are doing all of this work with who are doing five or six mediations a month instead of five or six mediations a year or two years becomes the norm.


Where they’re looking to us and saying, “How are you doing with that?” You go, “You know, it’s okay.” That gives us a belief and a natural compulsion to go and to make this thing work. That’s what we need to do. Uncertainty is an absolute killer. I know when I did the Bath half marathon and there’s a stage that you go around this lap twice.


There’s a really dark stage where you have no crowds on the road and it’s just dark and it’s difficult first time around. Second time around it was even harder, because I was at the ten or eleven mile stage and I knew that in another kilometer or so there were going to be the crowds again.


The demons that were going on in my head then were awful. The crowd’s about a kilometer ahead, 900 meters, 800 meters, if I drop out now, no one will see me. If I just stop, now is the time to do it. The charisma and the persuasion with those demons and those doubts is absolutely massive.


That’s what it is for these people who are transitioning into mediation. It’s really stuff like, I haven’t had any inquiries so I might be thinking, for three months or a whole year I went the whole of 2012 without a mediation, so I might be thinking, “Who do I think I am? What do I think I’m doing? I’ll just go back to what I was doing before.”


Instead you need to keep pushing through. You need to break through that. And begin focusing on those people who have done just that.

About the mediator

Neil Denny Profile Pic

Neil Denny is an international speaker, collaborative lawyer and expert on conflict and collaboration. He’s the author of two books; Conversational Riffs; Creating Meaning Out Of Conflict and The Collaborative Law Companion – from what I gather he has a few more in the pipeline. He is the CEO and founder of allLD Learning and Development. His latest venture Get Artisan is all about helping practitioners develop their skills and grow their bus... View Mediator