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Difficult Conversation and Mediation Approach

Difficult Conversation and Mediation Approach

How does your understanding of difficult conversations influence the way you approach mediation?



Full Transcript

Well, for better and for worse, it is a huge influence because of course, my brain now is organised in this way, right? We all get stuck in our own mindsets and my map is certainly very influenced, where I’m thinking that I’m working really hard to paraphrase, to turn accusations and judgements into feelings, to reframe when I paraphrase.


I’m working really hard to help them move from laying the contributions, so it sounds like that didn’t help and you were reacting to that. Talk to me over here about your response or what you feel like you contributed to the problem.


So, it’s certainly underlying the architecture of what I’m trying to do. And the danger is that I miss things because, of course, we see what we’re expecting to see. But I’m also using a vocabulary that is different than their usual vocabulary in subtle ways, which can disrupt their story a little bit.

About the mediator

Sheila Heen Mediator Harvard

Sheila is an experienced negotiator and mediator and a Founder of Triad Consulting Group. Sheila is also a Lecturer on Law at Harvard Law School and has spent the last twenty years with the Harvard Negotiation Project, developing negotiation theory and practice. She specializes in particularly difficult negotiations – where emotions run high and relationships become strained. Sheila is co-author of the New York Times Business Bestsellers Dif... View Mediator